We’ve got a fresh pack of red cups and dirty dice for our Super Dirty~Licious Valentine’s Show, Friday night 2-12-10 on Dirty~Licious Talk Radio. CLICK HERE to listen to the show at 9:00pm PST / Midnight EST.
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Damn, Justin Timberpussy’s piece looked smokin’ HAWT at the Valentine’s Day premiere in LA last night.
She was on Leno last week looking painfully thin, so thin that she made my dick hurt, ya’ll know I don’t have a dick. But I like to pretend that I do, sometimes, and while my fake dick and I were robbing ho’s of their dignity last week, Jessica Biel entered through the back door, (not sure who let this skinny bitch in), and made me grab, tuck and run.
I’m going to assume that Justin’s voice is bigger than his manhood because I think men who are workin’ with that monsta prefer women with parts that they can grab on to and hold while he’s beatin’ them walls down. I think if you spit on one of Biel’s walls this fragile bitch will melt. But hell, she’s werkin’ that dress!!! That’s not a typo, I mean to say WERKIN’!!!
BTW: you see the signage in the background that says Hollywoodland Experience, I pass by it everyday on my way to and from work, so if you’re hoping that the Hollywoodland Experience involves drugs, Ambien Sex and a photo op of you pissing on a Kardashian, you’ll be disappointed. I was.
While Ashton Kutcher continues to star in shitty movies, his wife continues to look like she bathes in the first morning shit of a witch doctor. No hate, she looks great!
Demi and Ashton attended the premiere of his latest film Valentine’s Day in LA last night.
Ashton said he knew Demi was The One when he realized he could hate her. He said:
“I think one thing sort of defines it which is, it’s not how much you love someone when you love them, but it’s how much you love them when you hate them. It’s when you’re in that moment where you cannot stand what the person you’re with is doing, but you still love them. When things get tough it’s not what you say, it’s about what you do.”
“My brother had a heart transplant when he was 13, and my parents were at the hospital a lot so I went and I stayed at a friend’s house. And his mother was this really wonderful, wonderful woman that sort of taught me a bunch of things like table manners and how to treat a woman – pulling out her chair, opening the door for her. So while my brother was in the hospital, I basically learned etiquette and how to use it when you’re dating a woman.”
Denzel Washinton has finally agreed to star as patriarch Troy Maxson in the August Wilson revival of Fences, which centers around U.S. race-relations in the 1950s.
When asked about Denzel’s involvement, producer Scott Rudin said:
“Denzel and I have been having conversations about this one role for years. This was no sudden thought. A long time ago he met August Wilson at Wilson’s home in Seattle. It was a rainy afternoon, and they spent time talking. And he loved this particular play. He always wanted to do it ‘one day.’
“The reason it was ‘one day’ was because Denzel’s role in ‘Fences’ is that of the patriarch father. The character is 54. Denzel didn’t think he was old enough. So many years have passed and we’ve talked about it so long, and he’s already done Broadway in 2005 as Brutus in a ‘Julius Caesar’ revival, so that he now feels he’s old enough.
“Also, playing his wife in this is Viola Davis, who was Oscar-nominated for her big scene as the mother of the boy in the film ‘Doubt.’ Viola’s appeared in two Wilson plays, one of which, ‘King Hedley II,’ won her a Tony. And they know one another. It was Denzel who directed Viola in the film ‘Antwone Fisher.’ “
Fences will open at the Cort Theatre in NYC in April.
Lil Wayne has been packed and shipped to prison has to get all that glittery shit out of his teeth before he’s packed and shipped to prison. He can’t risk slicing up ass while he’s tossing salad if his teeth are made from blood diamonds. So the judge has given him until Feb. 12th to get to the dentist. He must return to court on March 2.
Some of you think it’s cool that he can add another credit to his niggatry, but I think its HIGHlarious. Matter of fact, as I sit here and sip this cup of coffee and roll a phat one, I’m forced to take a second to look around me and appreciate the birds chirping, appreciate the blue sky, appreciate the sex I’m going to have later tonight- ya know, all the shit you get as a free person. Prison ain’t cool and for those who think it is, well, you’re a loser. But you know this already.
However, I’m down with sending Weezy a care package, although all I can afford are a box of Swisher Sweets, a bottle of cough syrup (anyone know his favorite flavor?), and some Beeswax for him to use to lube his ass up with. Anybody want to add to my Weezy care package? Which one of you can afford to buy the Lysol?
AnyAdSeg,
Wayne made a fare-the-well video for his Stans, check it out above.
BTW, I doubt that Wayne reads this but in case one of his flunkies does, please be sure to Twit us a pic of the Sissy boy Wayne buys in prison. I hope he has blonde curls and wears my favorite shade of “Yeah, I Fuck” red lipstick.
Celie’s Rude Boy music video is scheduled to debut on February 11.
“One time I saw (Lindsay) and she had a large welt on her head,” an insider recalled. “She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her. She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time.”
Wow, plastic surgery, botox and whatever else these gals use to artificially age is paying off for Jenny McCarthy, who’s still bangin’ Jim Carey. Jen and Jim hosted the 4th annual Saturday Night Spectacular celebration at The Bank of America Tower in Miami on Saturday night. That dress is sick!
How cute does Beyonce look standing on the balcony of a hotel in Brazil, where she performed Sunday night at the Rio’s HSBC Arena in Barra da Tijuca.
Is it me or does she look thinner in these pics than she does in the video of her performance below? I’m thinkin’ she needs to lose some layers, watching her perform makes me hungry for Country Fried Steak and eggs…..maybe some cheesy grits on the side. I ain’t calling Beyonce fat, I’m just saying that her healthy, phat ass gives me the damn munchies.
Word on the Skeet is that Beyonce may be teaming up with Russell Crowe for the remake of the 1937 flick A Star Is Born. The movie has already been made a few times but this doesn’t matter in Hollywood, where drugs can get a meeting with a Suit before a writer who has an original idea.
UPDATED:
Mathew Knowles’ mistress, Alexsandra Wright, gave birth a boy last week, his name is Nixon.
Wright, who claims to have had an 18 month affair with Knowles, wants a paternity test to prove she’s entitled to some of the fortune that Beyonce helped her father attain. She also claims she and Mathew picked out the baby name together. There’s a court date next week, unfortunately Maury Povich won’t be there with a camera crew to read the test results.
Below are the season finale dates of some of your favorite shows (via Nikke Finke – thanks, girl) – although I had to add my unwanted commentary to NBC’s Epic Fail of a line-up. I remember a long time ago, I think it was back in the 90’s, NBC use to have a stellar line-up of shows. Now I feel like the writers are snorting coke out of a dead hooker’s ass before they develop/write these shows:
“Trauma” (May 10) –> I get sick when I watch this show. Sick with boredom, is that the point?
“Mercy” (May 12) –> Wait, isn’t this the same as Trauma? –> Cancel.
“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (May 19) –> Benson and Stabler are the best characters on TV, they deserve a break.
“Community” (May 20) –> Time to cancel this and replace it with a show called Rehab. Title speaks for itself.
“Parks and Recreation” (May 20) –> Time to give the Indian dude his own show.
“The Office” (May 20) –> Needs to be on more than once a week. I could uses a daily dose of The Office.
“30 Rock” (May 20) –> If Baldwin ever threatens to Quit That Bitch, pay him more money. The show would be shit without him.
“The Celebrity Apprentice” (May 23) –> Huh? Why? Oh, wait, the Jersey Shore cast may need work soon because the unemployment line is long with VH1’s faux celebrity rejects.
“Chuck” (two hours) (May 24) –> The late, great George Carlin tells a joke where he calls white folks lame, Chuck reminds me of that joke.
“Law & Order” (May 24) –> Is Linus Roache giving out free sperm samples at the PinkBerry anytime soon?
“The Biggest Loser” (two hours) (May 25) –> Give these fatties the LapBand and Alli and get them off my TV screen already!!!
Whitney Houston kicked off her Nothing but Love World Tour in South Korea last week, but judging from the picture above, she doesn’t look like she knows where the hell she is or what’s going on. She probably thinks she accidentally picked up Jolie’s adopted kids at the airport rather than her luggage. And if that ain’t a crack pipe being passed her way, she don’t want it…oh, wait, Crack Is Whack….Where’s Bobby?
Unfortunately, critics say she struggled at the shows. One critic said:
It turned out Houston’s Saturday night concert was more rehearsal for her world tour than anything else. An estimated 11,000 turned up for the first concert of her “Nothing But Love World Tour” where she fumbled and squeaked through her set of 20 songs. The 47-year old Houston looked jetlagged and showed cracks in her physical condition after performing just the first song. Perhaps the cold she had been ailing from was to blame, but she was not the Whitney Houston people knew at the peak of her popularity.
Watch video from the show below. CLICK HERE for more. After the jump are the dates for her European tour, no US dates have been announced yet.
In related news, On January 26, Arista Records/Legacy Recordings will release Whitney Houston: The Deluxe Anniversary Edition. The CD/DVD package includes a remastered version of her debut album, along with five bonus tracks.
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