Hi Jude, This Is Your Kid!
As our Chicks Who Are Famous For Suckin’ Famous Dick series continues, we’re forced to focus on Jude Law’s seed tender, Samantha Burke, who pooped out a girl recently. Baby hasn’t met daddy yet because daddy is busy doing actor shit. Mommy is hard~up for cash too because she’s whorin’~out her vagina monologue to Hello magazine. Apparently they paid her $300,000.
Hmm. Once again I’m forced to reflect on the fact that I’m in the wrong business. I need to create a harem of Celebrity Seed Tenders. Trapper Chicks. Horny and broke babes who serve celebrities. That Trapper collects the celebrity seed and 9 months later cha-ching! Our tagline will be *If Daddy Won’t Pay The Bills, The Tabloids Will.*
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